Josh Blue: 2006 Winner of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, Paralympic Soccer Player

Josh Blue: 2006 Winner of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, Paralympic Soccer Player


I got milking a crazy day today man I went to hail a
taxi and I caught a pigeons I didn’t even know I had until I was in
the cab oh no I’m turning into a magician I hate magicians wow this is
awesome so I did just recently have my first menage tois two of them were
spotters and then when I finished a pigeon came
up oh just father like yeah do another
trick hold on so sorry you guys there see Gabriel don’t call me anymore he’s trying to get me kicked off that’s inappropriate that’s crazy viral disability I always
have to deal with like condescending people like people come up to me like
this how are you I’m like before coming up on stage I said heck no I got this
many people staring me all day he’s walking downtown and the drunk tank
stopped and picked me up I was like oh I think wait a minute here
fellas there’s a misunderstanding of I’m not drunk I have cerebral palsy they’re
like that’s a pretty big word for a drunk ass therefore seven days we’re like damn buddy what did you drink three minutes this awesome part of my performance I’d
like to inform you you are going to hell for laughing at me so how do you know this about me but I
am a member of the US Paralympic soccer team ah for those of you who clapped I
guess you realize I represent your country and for those of you that did not clap
well I guess you realized I represent your country so does anyone know how the US men’s
Paralympic soccer team did in the last Olympics oh thank you for your support well let’s just say me of my teammates
well we didn’t have to worry about getting tested for any
performance-enhancing drug we know asses kicked
it was all good that we were competing against countries like Ukraine Russia
Brazil like countries that live together all year round and practice twice a day
whereas the US team not so much and the thing I realized when you’re competing
against countries of that calibre it doesn’t matter how many times I watch
that movie miracle it’s just not gonna happen there are some great things about being
over in Athens though one of the things I’ll never forget is there was a party
for all the countries involved like Ireland Scotland Marilyn little
geography humor there’s a half way through the evening at this party before
I realized that more than 50% of conversations were not being understood
because someone who’s drunk and has cerebral palsy and speaks with a
Scottish accent he’s really freaking hard to understand on the roads chillin there I was hanging
all the party and this guy runs up to me goes Josh man so I Christ him so honey I
could check out Santa Barbara’s ball

3 Comments on “Josh Blue: 2006 Winner of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, Paralympic Soccer Player”

  1. I have Cerebral Palsy also, I think it is important not to take myself seriously like Josh but he has good nerve in becoming a comedian, because I would never be able to do this 🙂

  2. Ha, I was watching this wondering if this was the year Gabriel Iglesias got kicked off and Josh makes a joke about it. Good stuff!!

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